Monday, April 22, 2013

Question for Discussion (I hope)

Question: How old were you as a child when your parent(s) stopped waking you up in the morning? As a parent - how old do you think your child should be when they are expected to get up on their own? What reasons do you have for those expectations? Really hoping for some chat here.

I realize some of this is obvious to some readers as we were in boarding school at least some of our school years - and had to get ourselves up. But when we boarded in elementary school how did we get up on time?  I don't remember having an alarm clock until I was 7th or 8th grade. 

This is a question I really struggle with.  Stretch and Squirrel were both expected to get themselves up by 2nd grade.  I remember Squirrel asking for an alarm clock - he would fight me when I woke him up but once he had his own alarm and knew how to set it he typically got up on his own.  It was and still is rare for him to oversleep.  Stretch was not one to oversleep either when he was still at home - he tended to sleep a little later than Squirrel but that worked out well for morning showers and shared bathrooms. 

On the other hand, Dipstick has 3 alarm clocks and still struggles with getting up on time, letting alone getting up at all.  Often his dad will holler up the stairs at him to get him up.  This morning I asked him how long he expected to have a parent waking him.  His answer (and it may have been intended to be a smart-aleck response) was "until I move out".  Being as he is 16 1/2 almost I feel strongly that he should be the one to get himself up - without regularly being hollered at.  He daily leaves for school without breakfast and sometimes not completely dressed - carrying shoes and socks into the car to put on on the way to the bus. 

Really hoping for some discussion here - not as a bashing situation but for insight. 


Shawn and Emily Miller said...

My girls have been using an alarm clock and getting themselves up and ready for several years now (and they are 10 and 11). You could always have suffer the natural consequences.... if he isn't ready for the bus on time then he misses school and is grounded to his room, then has tons of makeup work to do (just a thought). Hope something works to have things change!!!

Karen said...

Dorm parents got us up in elementary school, I'm pretty sure. I still remember one of them calling "Rise and shine!" I don't remember it being a problem getting up. If you didn't, you missed breakfast or got in trouble. That was too important to ignore.

In JR high and High school we got ourselves up. I remember nagging a roommate who didn't like getting up. If I left her alone she would get up, but it took me almost all term to figure that out.

My kids are expected to get themselves up, and under normal circumstances they do. Different when you are sick or the hour is different. Not saying they always do it in a timely manner...that is a challenge.

Not sure what makes Dipstick tick..but I hear your pain. How long can you let natural consequences run their course before there is a change? Being grounded to his room sans technology (ie remove TV, Computer, Cell phone, games) may be an answer. But you would have to make sure there is absolutely no reward in the consequence.

Hope you get some other input, as I don't feel I'm an expert here at all.

Edith said...

Unfortunately he tends to rarely seem to have any homework. So the tons of homework simply does not work. Thankfully he has no TV or computer in his room. Making him clean his room to my satisfaction might have at least a temporary impact. Thankfully school is almost over for this year. (And I still refuse to make sure he is up. He simply must take responsibility)