Not accomplishing much today. Had originally planned to go to Shipshewana today - there were a couple of stores I wanted to pop into. However last night Squirrel came home with a fever and not feeling well at all. So I postponed those plans - nothing was critical. Did have coffee with my friend that I was going to go with before coming home. Since I got home I've done some laundry and loaded dishwasher and taken a short nap. I should be cleaning my craft area (again) or folding more laundry or something...Instead I am sitting here thinking about this afternoon. Squirrel did have a cross country meet to run and I was scheduled to drive. My route sub could not switch back with me so I am still driving the meet even though he is not going. I am really hoping that my students behave much better this afternoon than they did last time I was off and that the route goes more smoothly. I am also thinking about the student who has been transferred off and the one who will be transferring on effective today and hoping those changes go smoothly.
We found out yesterday that one of our drivers has been admitted to hospital in critical condition - he has a football sized tumor in his abdomen. Not much hope is being held out for him. He has 3 children - the youngest of whom is in Squirrel's grade. Talked to my sister-in-law this morning - she spent two nights in hospital last week suffering from a severe bout of vertigo. She has lost hearing in one ear - not sure if that is a permanent loss or not. It is not known yet what caused the vertigo - she is off work for this week and is not currently driving as that was what triggered it in the first place. It leaves a fairly heavy load on her husband to pick up caring for all the things she handles in addition to her job as a vet tech. They have 2 young boys - one of whom has severe food allergies. Of course I live too far away to help.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Quick Post
Quick post this morning...out to a cross country meet soon. And I'm bringing snacks for Squirrel's team - not as healthy as some but could be worse I think. Grapes (if I get them washed), raisins, peanut butter crackers and packaged fruit snacks plus water and a sports drink. What is nice is when both boys have a Saturday meet together and I don't have to drive them to the bus.
Dipstick is on his way to Plow Days with B's dad. B is not going this year - he is staying home to rest and recover from surgery. His follow-up appointment went pretty well - he goes back on the 28th for a "final" check.
Yesterday went very well on the bus route...I don't tend to be comfortable addressing my kids as "a group". I would much rather interact with them one-on-one. However the sub on Thursday had such a bad time with them - mis-behavior, back talk and ultimately ending up in a ditch - that I shared how disappointed I was. I went over bus rules, shared I was strict for a reason and could be stricter if necessary and told them that now they had to prove to me, the elementary principal (who I've not seen eye to eye with for some time as she thought I was too strict - and who stood and listened to me talk to them - then wished me "good luck" as she got off), my transportation director boss and the superintendent that they did know how to behave even if I was not the driver that day. So the test will come on Tuesday when I am driving a cross country meet for Squirrel's team instead of my bus route.
I still have not had "creative time" or even time to go through my pictures. But I did take time yesterday morning to have chai with a couple of close friends after morning route. It was good to connect some - and I got to cuddle a baby (he's not so much one anymore - going on 9 months old but I've known him since he was an hour old - hadn't even had a bath yet).
Time is up...got to scoot or I will be late. That's not good for the snack person.
Dipstick is on his way to Plow Days with B's dad. B is not going this year - he is staying home to rest and recover from surgery. His follow-up appointment went pretty well - he goes back on the 28th for a "final" check.
Yesterday went very well on the bus route...I don't tend to be comfortable addressing my kids as "a group". I would much rather interact with them one-on-one. However the sub on Thursday had such a bad time with them - mis-behavior, back talk and ultimately ending up in a ditch - that I shared how disappointed I was. I went over bus rules, shared I was strict for a reason and could be stricter if necessary and told them that now they had to prove to me, the elementary principal (who I've not seen eye to eye with for some time as she thought I was too strict - and who stood and listened to me talk to them - then wished me "good luck" as she got off), my transportation director boss and the superintendent that they did know how to behave even if I was not the driver that day. So the test will come on Tuesday when I am driving a cross country meet for Squirrel's team instead of my bus route.
I still have not had "creative time" or even time to go through my pictures. But I did take time yesterday morning to have chai with a couple of close friends after morning route. It was good to connect some - and I got to cuddle a baby (he's not so much one anymore - going on 9 months old but I've known him since he was an hour old - hadn't even had a bath yet).
Time is up...got to scoot or I will be late. That's not good for the snack person.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Disconnected
Disconnected...that is the thought that is running through my mind today. I've not been blogging or even keeping up on blogs that I enjoy reading (as I was reminded by an email from one of my brothers)...I've not been journaling. I have snatched a very few minutes to stitch a couple of evenings - once this week. I've not had much time with friends to connect and talk and share our lives. I am not even doing well at responding to emails.
School started about a month ago. Cross country season officially started 2 weeks later - Squirrel had 3 meets the first week and has 2 every week since one of which is on Saturdays. Stretch is also running mainly with weekend meets. I have missed more meets than I normally do already - that is a struggle for me. There have been 2 back to school nights (one for Squirrel and one for Dipstick). There is regular homework checks especially for Dipstick. Parent - teacher conferences are coming up already. Two nights a week we watch Little Bit for her mother so she can take classes to become a nurse and be better able to support herself and Little Bit. Grief Group starts tonight for Dipstick - and Wednesday night services have resumed for the fall.
In addition to all that...B had surgery last Saturday. It was "day surgery" in that he was able to go home that day. However he is not to do any heavy lifting, not supposed to be driving yet - he over-did it yesterday and was pretty beat last night. He was discouraged ...he does not do "sit and rest" well and had expected to be able to handle more by now. This afternoon he has his follow-up appointment and I am thankful to be able to go with him though it requires my taking my afternoon bus route off.
In addition to that appointment I hope to be able to get more daily housekeeping stuff done and start to get caught up on paperwork. I would also like to find my pictures I've downloaded on here and start organizing them. None of that has happened since we reformatted the computer. Eventually I will need to get an external hard drive for the pictures only. Tonight will be a late night as I am the one who takes Dipstick to Grief Group.
I feel like I only write here when things are not going well. One positive thing I am enjoying is the cooler temperatures and more deer sightings while I drive my bus. Yesterday morning the sunrise was beautiful and red - always wish I had a good camera along to get pictures of that.
School started about a month ago. Cross country season officially started 2 weeks later - Squirrel had 3 meets the first week and has 2 every week since one of which is on Saturdays. Stretch is also running mainly with weekend meets. I have missed more meets than I normally do already - that is a struggle for me. There have been 2 back to school nights (one for Squirrel and one for Dipstick). There is regular homework checks especially for Dipstick. Parent - teacher conferences are coming up already. Two nights a week we watch Little Bit for her mother so she can take classes to become a nurse and be better able to support herself and Little Bit. Grief Group starts tonight for Dipstick - and Wednesday night services have resumed for the fall.
In addition to all that...B had surgery last Saturday. It was "day surgery" in that he was able to go home that day. However he is not to do any heavy lifting, not supposed to be driving yet - he over-did it yesterday and was pretty beat last night. He was discouraged ...he does not do "sit and rest" well and had expected to be able to handle more by now. This afternoon he has his follow-up appointment and I am thankful to be able to go with him though it requires my taking my afternoon bus route off.
In addition to that appointment I hope to be able to get more daily housekeeping stuff done and start to get caught up on paperwork. I would also like to find my pictures I've downloaded on here and start organizing them. None of that has happened since we reformatted the computer. Eventually I will need to get an external hard drive for the pictures only. Tonight will be a late night as I am the one who takes Dipstick to Grief Group.
I feel like I only write here when things are not going well. One positive thing I am enjoying is the cooler temperatures and more deer sightings while I drive my bus. Yesterday morning the sunrise was beautiful and red - always wish I had a good camera along to get pictures of that.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Again??
Finally feeling better today...not physically but emotionally. It has been a rough week...I have been over-reacting to what seems like everything. I've realized my reactions were over the top but not known why. Yesterday I had to take Dipstick to registration - had spent hours trying to make sure I had all the registration paperwork printed off the computer. We got there and I was missing 2 key pages so we ended up having to go the "slow" routine (not that having the pages done was that much faster as one still had to go through all the lines!) I confess I lost it...not shouting and yelling lost it but lost it none the less. Finally when I was in the restroom calming down it dawned on me...today Mike and I would have been celebrating our 21 yr wedding anniversary. As soon as I acknowledged that and accepted that the grief would still hit at times...even after 7 1/2 yrs and being happily remarried, I started to calm down.
Talking to a dear friend on the phone this morning...who has also lost a husband to cancer and is remarried...she admitted she struggled extra this year as well. She pointed out that we thought God's plan was for us to be married to our first husbands for our lifetime - that we would grow old together and it didn't work out that way. Of course the grief will be there at times. (And in B's case he will still face grief on his loss as well). To further add to that...B has had some medical tests recently that could have revealed life-changing health issues and the questions...admitted or not would have been there.
This explains to me also the intense "grief" I felt at having confirmed that I would not be taking "my" elementary kids all the way to school this year. I will be finished with my bus route at the middle school in the mornings - the elementary kids will transfer to another bus. I've had these kids for 3 years now and will miss the time I got to spend visiting with them in the mornings. Those times were occasionally challenging but it was often those times that I had the chance to let a child know I saw they had had a difficult morning and try to encourage them.
So all that to say...it's been a rough week emotionally. Today I feel like I see light again.
Talking to a dear friend on the phone this morning...who has also lost a husband to cancer and is remarried...she admitted she struggled extra this year as well. She pointed out that we thought God's plan was for us to be married to our first husbands for our lifetime - that we would grow old together and it didn't work out that way. Of course the grief will be there at times. (And in B's case he will still face grief on his loss as well). To further add to that...B has had some medical tests recently that could have revealed life-changing health issues and the questions...admitted or not would have been there.
This explains to me also the intense "grief" I felt at having confirmed that I would not be taking "my" elementary kids all the way to school this year. I will be finished with my bus route at the middle school in the mornings - the elementary kids will transfer to another bus. I've had these kids for 3 years now and will miss the time I got to spend visiting with them in the mornings. Those times were occasionally challenging but it was often those times that I had the chance to let a child know I saw they had had a difficult morning and try to encourage them.
So all that to say...it's been a rough week emotionally. Today I feel like I see light again.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Broken
I've been aware for some time that the medical system in this country is broken. Today however I see that more clearly than ever before.
When Squirrel had his accident we had a short term health insurance policy. It covered a portion of his hospital bills but by no means all of them. In January we switched to a "permanent long term" policy that had a fairly high deductible and a premium payment of almost $600.00/month. However it has paid nothing on Squirrel's follow-up tests determining them either to be diagnostic or relating to a pre-existing condition. It has also denied coverage for my (recurrent) sinus infections determining them also to be pre-existing due to having been treated for them previously in less than a year. (Last fall and two this past spring). We have been paying out almost as much on these medical bills as on our monthly premium payment. Slowly there has been progress but there is still a long way to go.
This month B requires some testing done. He made his first doctor's appointment in several years for last week. We went together and blood work, an ultrasound and sleep study were ordered. I phoned our current insurance company this morning to try to find out what percentage of these tests would be covered. Turns out that unless he is hospitalized and having surgery within 21 days these would all be considered diagnostic and would therefore not be covered at all. Considering how much we are paying per month for coverage this is decidedly unacceptable.
So...I'm once again on the search for health insurance. I did...with B's approval go ahead and sign up for a policy that has no deductible, covers all pre-existing conditions with no waiting period, pays 75% of "everything" with a office visit co-pay of $10-30.00 and what sounds like reasonable co-pays on prescriptions. It is a plan designed primarily for "difficult to insure" people who have pre-existing conditions...and not everyone qualifies. In other words, because I deal with depression our family would qualify for this coverage while someone who was as "healthy as a horse" would not. The price is much more reasonable than what we had before and there is a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. So...we will see.
I rarely post anything that could be remotely construed as political or having anything to do with politics. However...right now I feel this needs written.
When Squirrel had his accident we had a short term health insurance policy. It covered a portion of his hospital bills but by no means all of them. In January we switched to a "permanent long term" policy that had a fairly high deductible and a premium payment of almost $600.00/month. However it has paid nothing on Squirrel's follow-up tests determining them either to be diagnostic or relating to a pre-existing condition. It has also denied coverage for my (recurrent) sinus infections determining them also to be pre-existing due to having been treated for them previously in less than a year. (Last fall and two this past spring). We have been paying out almost as much on these medical bills as on our monthly premium payment. Slowly there has been progress but there is still a long way to go.
This month B requires some testing done. He made his first doctor's appointment in several years for last week. We went together and blood work, an ultrasound and sleep study were ordered. I phoned our current insurance company this morning to try to find out what percentage of these tests would be covered. Turns out that unless he is hospitalized and having surgery within 21 days these would all be considered diagnostic and would therefore not be covered at all. Considering how much we are paying per month for coverage this is decidedly unacceptable.
So...I'm once again on the search for health insurance. I did...with B's approval go ahead and sign up for a policy that has no deductible, covers all pre-existing conditions with no waiting period, pays 75% of "everything" with a office visit co-pay of $10-30.00 and what sounds like reasonable co-pays on prescriptions. It is a plan designed primarily for "difficult to insure" people who have pre-existing conditions...and not everyone qualifies. In other words, because I deal with depression our family would qualify for this coverage while someone who was as "healthy as a horse" would not. The price is much more reasonable than what we had before and there is a 30 day satisfaction guarantee. So...we will see.
I rarely post anything that could be remotely construed as political or having anything to do with politics. However...right now I feel this needs written.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A Realization...
It is official...I have too many hobbies. Now the question becomes how to pare down. I scrapbook, bead, stitch, crochet, take photos, journal, quilt (if one can call my feeble beginning attempts quilting) and "garden". In addition I have books on woodworking, writing, drawing (and supplies) plus all of the ones I actually do. I used to rubber stamp and have plenty of supplies for that as well. As a child I had daydreams of having a room/building devoted to crafts. It would have excellent lighting, work table space for working with beads/gemstones, more worktable space for scrapbooking and drawing. There would be a potter's wheel and kiln. There would be an area for sewing/quilting...I've never had the desire to design and make clothes but long to make teddy bears. There would be an area with easels for painting or drawing. The lighting would be natural daylight as much as possible...both overhead and through windows with a beautiful view. Realistically...I'm too busy at this time in my life for all of these and I can't see actually having the space for that room. But the thought of paring down is rather overwhelming.
On a different note...Stretch is home from college. He had a blast and made friends who I hope will be lifetime friends. He learned a lot...spent the drive home talking stream of consciousness and pretty much non-stop. He is sold on having a Mac computer for college. He pulled an all-nighter in celebration of successful finishing of the course and has been falling asleep in the recliner since we got home. He has decided that he will likely apply to this university after high school and that he will apply for the honor's program. I'm thrilled at that news...I know it will be more work for him but believe he is able to handle the load.
Squirrel has been watching "Star Trek - Voyager" since we got home. He was pretty much counting the hours until we could leave this morning to get his brother. He missed his brother...though he enjoyed the county fair demo derbies. He also enjoyed mostly our trip to Chicago to see family.
Dipstick is out on a camping trip this weekend. The original plan was for it to be a biking trip so the troop could earn their badges. However due I think to the extreme heat forecast for this weekend the plan was changed...I am not sure what they are working on.
The computer is fixed...thankfully. It had to be completely formatted so I've still not got everything totally back to the way I like it. However...slowly progress is being made. No pictures are loaded yet.
On a different note...Stretch is home from college. He had a blast and made friends who I hope will be lifetime friends. He learned a lot...spent the drive home talking stream of consciousness and pretty much non-stop. He is sold on having a Mac computer for college. He pulled an all-nighter in celebration of successful finishing of the course and has been falling asleep in the recliner since we got home. He has decided that he will likely apply to this university after high school and that he will apply for the honor's program. I'm thrilled at that news...I know it will be more work for him but believe he is able to handle the load.
Squirrel has been watching "Star Trek - Voyager" since we got home. He was pretty much counting the hours until we could leave this morning to get his brother. He missed his brother...though he enjoyed the county fair demo derbies. He also enjoyed mostly our trip to Chicago to see family.
Dipstick is out on a camping trip this weekend. The original plan was for it to be a biking trip so the troop could earn their badges. However due I think to the extreme heat forecast for this weekend the plan was changed...I am not sure what they are working on.
The computer is fixed...thankfully. It had to be completely formatted so I've still not got everything totally back to the way I like it. However...slowly progress is being made. No pictures are loaded yet.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Stretch
Home late last night from dropping Stretch off at IWU for the next 3 weeks. He was accepted to a Summer Scholars program down there and will be taking a World Civilization course. It's a very small group of students - less than 20 I think. He got a scholarship for the tuition...we just had to pay for his room and board. I'm sure he will have a lot of fun...But wow! Talk about the memories and the mixed emotions...Seeing his room for the next 3 weeks - way nicer than ours at RVA and he does not have a roommate as there are only 4 guys total in the program. But the dorm atmosphere.. .I'm guessing the closest comparison was...I can't remember the name of the dorm but it was the boys one at the end of the main rugby field (Upper?) overlooking Logonot. Seeing the other students and parents there - some of whom were obviously also dropping off their first-born and were apparently struggling more with it than I was - and at least one student who had flown in this morning from Virginia. Along with all the dorm "stuff" was the longing that never goes away totally for me to go back to school - to sit and listen to people who are smarter than me share their knowledge - I wished I could have taken notes from the professor who was at the reception who prayed.
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